I really struggled to write my blog this week. It has been such a mixture of emotions, and I knew I couldn't just write an update as if the week had been any other typical week. This week our nation witnessed and experienced one of the greatest tragedies in my lifetime. I have to be honest, I have been avoiding pretty much all media coverage of this shooting. I read a few stories on Friday afternoon, read the President's address to the nation, and listened to his speech at the memorial service. Outside of this, I haven't watched the interviews of teachers, children, and parents; nor dissected the psychological state of the shooter with CNN. I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. Every time someone even mentions Newtown I become emotional, I cry, I hold my belly tight. What fear it stirs up in me to no longer have Aidan safe inside of me in only two short months. One of my friends who is also pregnant posted this: "As a soon to be mother, it breaks my heart to be so fearful to bring a child into this scary world and makes me feel extra protective of this life growing inside me." What sadness it brings to my heart to think about the parents of those sweet children. My initial reaction to learning the full extent of the shootings was to book a flight to Connecticut and be there to offer counseling, support, anything to these families. Knowing full well this wasn't an option, rather than watch the media coverage of this particular incident, I've chosen to pray. That's all I can even think to do at this point. I can't hold myself together to watch someone recount the events of the day. So instead I go to my Father in heaven and ask Him to send some kind of strength and comfort to our nation; some kind of passion to make the necessary changes so that these events stop happening so frequently. I pray for the families of all the victims and all the children who will live with this memory. I will end with something taken from another friend's post on Friday: "Rest in peace, dear children of God. May the angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs come to welcome you and take you to the holy city, the new and eternal Jerusalem."
How far along: 31 weeks
How big is baby: Head of lettuce. Baby's brain continues to develop and he is now able to perceive information from all five senses.
Total weight gain: +12
Maternity clothes: I like to throw on a non-maternity pair of jeans here and there just to reassure myself I can still fit into them (even if the button and zipper are undone).
Sleep: No big changes here. Lots of waking to go to the bathroom, but that's about it.
Best moment(s) of the week:
Despite the emotions of the week; it truly has been filled with lots of wonderful things
1) We got to see baby Aidan on a sonogram on Thursday at Nancy's vet clinic. It has almost been 10 weeks since we've seen him. He's so big! There's nothing that puts a mother-to-be's mind at ease like seeing her little baby
2) I graduated on Friday with my Master's in Rehabilitation Counseling! It is such a relief to be done with school. Although, also a little terrifying knowing that I am now officially unemployed.
3) We participated in the wedding of two of our dearest friends this weekend. I have been looking forward to this wedding for maybe 4 years. This couple is the most amazing couple. They have their eyes so focused on God it is truly beautiful to witness, they compliment each other so well, and they both have the biggest hearts for their friends and family. In choosing people to do the readings in their wedding they decided to ask married couples as a way to highlight the importance of marriage. Jason and I were asked to read the Prayers of the Faithful. These took place directly following the wedding vows. Oh man, I was so teary during their vows! I don't know if it was the joy I was feeling to watch two of my closest friends become united or the way in which the bride was absolutely glowing, but I got emotional. I had to pull myself together in a hurry to make it onto the alter without tears still flowing. It was such a beautiful wedding and I can't wait to see what God has in store for them!
Food cravings: nada. I feel like I should probably eat more veggies, but I don't know that it's necessarily a craving.
Food aversions: still sweets...but I might have an explanation for this aversion now...see below.
Symptoms: Back pain is definitely getting more intense. I also think my hips are starting to widen (and I thought they were already plenty wide). I can feel my ligaments getting looser as certain movements catch me off guard as my body gives out for a second as if to say "nope, can't move like that anymore without falling"
Movement: He's still getting in the required number of kicks. I've become a little more obsessed with counting after my last appointment...again, see below. He was a little quiet on Saturday, but Sunday I don't think he stopped moving for more than 30 minutes throughout the day.
What I’m looking forward to: Jason and I are in Houston this week! It's our week off :) We're getting to have Christmas with his mom and dad and just take some time to relax.
What I miss: Running anf good workouts.
Next appt: January 3rd.
Update from Dec. 11 appointment: I have to say this wasn't my favorite appointment to date. I'm used to going in and being told "okay everything looks great, see you in a couple weeks." I like these appointments. This week, however, it just seemed like nothing was exactly perfect. I should start by saying nothing is drastically wrong either. Things simple aren't perfect, and I like perfection.
So first I was told that the results of my 1 hour glucose test came back significantly elevated and was asked to do a 3 hour test on Friday. (Jumping ahead to Friday: the three hour test consists of drinking an even more concentrated sugary orange drink, sitting in a lab, and getting drawn once every hour for three hours).
Next, I took my weight and realized that not only was I not gaining weight but I had also lost weight. I know I track my weight at home, and this wasn't a huge surprise, but I was hoping maybe it was just my scale. Losing weight typically isn't recommended during the third trimester of pregnancy, so I wasn't exactly excited.
Then Dr. Behan took my pelvic bone to top of uterus measurement. This is the measurement which has been one week ahead of schedule my past two appointments (so last appointment I measured at 29 weeks when I was in my 28th week). This time around I was measuring a week small...essentially I was still measuring at 29 weeks, my uterus hadn't grown. When I was measuring large Dr. B was completely unphased by this. But this time he was a little surprised and suggested we get an ultrasound at our next appointment. Okay, he also stated more than once that he's not really concerned, it's just precautionary, and it's not like he immidiately rushed me into the ultrasound room to check on the baby. But from a mother's point of view all I can think about is how he told me a few appointments ago that we wouldn't get another ultrasound until 36 weeks unless there was something to be worried about. So naturally, I worry. I'm sure everything is okay, but it wasn't the appointment I was hoping for.
Workout/Fitness: I've been fairly lax on working out. I'd like to start walking more again since my ligaments are being kind of weird when I do squats or leg lifts.