Restless

I have a food post on hold that I've been meaning to post for a week, but I've had this on my heart for the past few days.  I figured I should speak from my heart first and then the tummy.  It has been a rough few weeks in the Fry household.  Poor Jason has been so patient and understanding with me.  It's that time of year again where I start to regret my decision to put everything off until the last minute.  In fact, I still have other things I should be completing right now, but I just can't get this off my mind so here I am.  This semester has been particularly work intensive.  The good news is I don't have a single final exam, in fact, I barely had any actual tests this semester.  In place, I've had lots and lots of projects and papers.  I've felt so swamped and overwhelmed the past few weeks there have been moments where I just wanted to crawl into a whole and give up on grad school.  Jason has never stopped encouraging and comforting me and I am so grateful.  On top of this I am so grateful for the homily from Mass yesterday.  I'm pretty sure the priest was speaking directly to me, even though we were sitting in the back of St. Ann's giant church.  

The homily centered on how necessary it is we seek out God for our strength.  He is our Good Sheppard.  Too often we (I) look at my prayer time and other faith centered activities as "just another thing on the to do list" but this is so far from the truth.  These moments I devote solely to God are my time to refuel.  Through spending time with Him I am better able to see the path I'm on, understand why I am doing all of this, and gain strength for my journey.  

I've been fixated on Audrey Assad's song "Restless" lately.  I listen to it on repeat as I drive to and from Denton everyday.  The lyrics of the song (adapted from St. Augustine) match so well with the readings and homily from yesterday.  "I'm restless until I rest in you."  This is something I need to constantly remind myself.  I have control issues, and I don't like accepting help even when I'm drowning.  This trait of mine led me to struggle with one particular line in the song: "Cause I know you're more than my salvation, without you I am hopeless."  

Well hold on now Audrey, I am not hopeless.  That's a bit harsh don't you think?  I mean yeah God is great and provides me with grace and strength to get through my day, but without him I am hopeless?  I contemplated this line over and over.  And then on Thursday night in the midst of working on one of my projects I broke down.  I mean full on I'm done with graduate school kind of break down.  I definitely scared my dog and may have made Jason a little worried.  I was genuinely hopeless at this point, and I did not turn to God, I begrudgingly finished the work I was doing and went to bed.  

At the time I definitely did not think about this song.  In fact it was not until Sunday's homily that I started to put it all together.  I had gotten so caught up in finishing all my school work that I had neglected to simply ask God for His help.  The more I rejected His grace and care, the more I felt like I was losing control.  He has offered so much to us, it's hard to grasp it all.  We can get so caught up in the rush of life and "doing" things "for" God we forget "Deus pro nobis"  God is for us.  He has done such great things for us.  My prayers and adoration only further lift me up and provide me with the tools I need to continue on.  

It has been a humbling week, and I am so thankful for this.  I need a humility check right about this time of year.  I need to remember that when I reach my breaking point, maybe I should first examine my prayer and faith life.  I will probably just play this song over and over for the rest of the week as I finish off my last few papers and projects.  In case you're in need of a little reminder of the greatness of God and maybe some beautiful music, here you go:

How Could It Be That My God Would Welcome Me Into This Mystery

I thought the 1 monthiversary would be a good time for some of my reflections about marriage.  For the short version please see the definitions of wonderful, joyful, and right in the dictionary.  I can't believe how fast this month has gone by.  Like I told Jason in my note to him this morning, it merely takes me closing my eyes (or scrolling through our wedding pictures for the 100,000th time) to bring back the rush of emotions I had when I saw Jason waiting for me at the end of aisle and the unbelievable joy I felt as we danced our first dance.  And it's not just because our wedding day was that awesome, it's because what it has led to.  What we have become in a month.  We're a family now and I am so blessed to be able to call him my husband :-)  


I know that marriage will not always be this rosy.  The multiple marriage prep classes we did reminded us of this.  It is hard and takes real work to get through some of the toughest times.  I do plan to write more about these sometime in the future.  I know I say that a lot, but so much has happened the past few months it's hard getting caught up with everything.  I'll just say I think the Church does it right.  We are well prepared to love and support one another as we go forth in our marriage.  


Okay now my reflections:  Remember when I said I think the Church got it right?  This extends so far beyond the prep classes.  This extends to the history of the Church, to the sacrament of marriage, to the institution of the Eucharist, to our relationship with Christ.  I remember reading a Christopher West book once and he related a story about his father-in-law receiving Communion the first time after his wedding.  He broke into tears and expressed that "for the first time in my life I understood the meaning of Christ's words, 'This is my body given for you.'"  This always struck me as interesting.  What was this change that was made in him so quickly?  How did the Mass suddenly come more to life for him through marriage?


Well, I can say I believe I experienced something very similar to this the Sunday after our wedding.  I became so overcome with emotions during the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  Here I was kneeling before the body of Christ with my husband with whom I was now one.  This Sacramental mystery we had been welcomed into is an image of our union with God in the Eucharist.  Beyond this I was realizing that every time we come to Mass we get to relive an integral part of our wedding day.  Not just see pictures, watch a video or passively reminisce, but relive, actively participate.  How perfect that the Mass is often referred to as the marriage supper of the Lamb. Christ constantly renews his Vows with us by offering Himself to us in the Eucharist.  So too do Jason and I offer ourselves to one another in marriage, living out our vows.  Even still when I go to Mass I feel I am participating in a new way.  I'm reliving our wedding day, being an active part of the wedding supper of the Lamb, and anticipating the day we enter into full communion with Christ.  It's pretty awesome.  I have read about this through Theology of the Body and believed in the mystery and sacrament of marriage, but to actually experience being a part of it is new and exciting.  It's not better or more perfect than it was before (you can't improve on what is already perfect) but for me it is more complete.  I love going to Mass with my husband  :) I hope in the future as we face troubling times we can look to the Mass as something which can always bring us together and remind us of our wedding day.    


On top of all of this, it has brought even more meaning to the words of our second reading from Ephesians 5 
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself,and the wife should respect her husband.


If we are able to live out these words I am confident in our marriage.  If we always remember that marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for the Church and strive to imitate and share this love we cannot go wrong.   


And for good measure because no blog is complete without pictures here's a little sneak peek at one of our unedited wedding pics from the photographer (Susan Gilbert):

Happy 1 monthiversary!


The Vrly-Fries 

2 Corinthians 5:16-21

"Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.  Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

  Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."

The Return of the Prodigal Son (1773) by Pompeo Batoni

     I made a promise last time to make this post shorter than my previous two.  I'm going to do my best to uphold that promise.  With this in mind, I'm not going to go into one of my dissections of the Bible verse above.  But, I do encourage you to read it a couple of times before you go on.  It's very packed. In case you feel like reading something longer here's a link (this link is for all readings on the 4th Sunday of Lent in cycle C.  I definitely put that picture of the Prodigal Son up before I realized these readings appear together in the Church liturgical year, I guess the Church kinda knows what she's doing).  I'd also like to clarify that the reason my spirituality post will likely be shorter has no bearing on how important it is to Jason and I.  In fact, it's shorter because it's so clear to me how God has moved in us the past couple of months.

    I read somewhere that a key quality of a good blogger is to be completely honest with your audience; no sugar coating your life or only showing your best side.  So the truth is, Jason and I didn't keep up with praying together, becoming involved in our church, etc. quite like I had laid out for us in my first post.  In fact, reading the meditations from the The Ignatian Workout lasted only a couple of weeks at best.  We quickly settled back into our old routines.  This persisted throughout our engagement.

    I have to give a lot of credit to our marriage prep classes for re-inspiring us to delve back into this mission.  Every person we talked to said the number one thing that keeps a marriage together is keeping God in the center and making praying together a habit.  Now, we didn't immediately go home and pick our book back up, but the seed was constantly being planted and watered.  I'll say more about the marriage prep in a later blog.  Yes, I do believe it deserves a whole post!  I 100% recommend couples do some sort of marriage counseling before the wedding day (so does the state of Texas.  Whoop for not having to pay a fee to get our marriage license!)

   The biggest spiritual movement and growth happened only 2 days before the wedding.  Throughout our engagement Jason and I talked about wanting to go to Reconciliation.  It would be Jason's first Reconciliation as when he was Baptized last Easter all of his sins were washed away, "clearing" him to receive the Eucharist.  It would be my first time to go in while...much longer than I like to admit.  I have a weird relationship with this particular Sacrament.  I 100% believe in it's graces.  Every time I go I leave feeling better than I've felt, well, since the last time I went.  It's hard to describe the freedom and sense of calm I feel.  But, for some reason (likely the large periods of time in between) I get so nervous to go.  I expect the priest to gawk at me, shake his head disapprovingly, or lecture me.  This has NEVER happened, see above feelings of freedom and calm.  

   So, the Thursday before the wedding Jason and I both made plans to go to Reconciliation.  I went to All Saints as I was going to my mom's afterwards and Jason went to St. Rita because it's close to where he works.  The confessionals are located inside the Adoration Chapel at All Saints.  What a beautiful way to prepare for Reconciliation!  I got to spend about an hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament and did part of the Rosary while waiting for my turn.  This instantly helped to calm my nerves and remind me of the purpose and power of Reconciliation.  

    I'm not going to go into details of my confession, but I would like to expand on the priest's response.  It's possibly one of the most loving responses I've experienced.  He noticed that I was holding myself back in some way and that somewhere there was a block in my willingness to let God be in complete control.  He looked at me and said, "If you don't mind I'd like to come next to you and pray over you."  I consented.  "I want you to let everything go right now.  Allow the Holy Spirit to work and lift you up."  He recited a beautiful prayer and then we sat in silence for a couple of minutes.  Wow.  I don't know how to describe this, but I could feel myself being healed.  It was incredible.  Then he sat back down and continued to talk to me about my penance.  The number one thing he had said throughout the Confession and now was the importance of Jason and I praying together.  He encouraged us to make the Chaplet of Divine Mercy a regular prayer for us to recite as a family.  I left feeling awesome and more ready for marriage than ever!

   Later that night I received a text from Jason saying "I did it!" He then went on to tell me his penance was none other than to pray together!  I don't know why, but this just really moved me.  We went to two different priests from two different churches, but still received the same penance.  We became more committed to this than ever.  When we saw each other later that night we said the Chaplet of Divine Mercy together.  Now, every evening we do a meditation from a book Jason's dad and step-mom gave to us for Christmas.  We also devote at least one day a week to deeper prayer.  I feel so confident in our marriage as long as we are able to keep this up.  We are also more committed to going to Reconciliation on a more regular basis.  Please keep us in your prayers as we begin our life together! 

This was shorter, right?  Maybe?  No?  Ok I'm sorry, but at the very least it was more focused.  Next up Marriage Blog...somewhat of an extension of this blog.  I do plan on blogging about the wedding, but I'm waiting until we have pictures from the photographer.  I also plan on doing a blog about our Honeymoon, but I need to upload pictures before that happens too.

Until next time,  

The Vrly-Fries  (like curly fries?)   

Romans 5:3-5

"...we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;  and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;  and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us"

*All things expressed hereafter are opinions and my raw feelings about some of the experiences I had this summer. I am not an expert nor do I know the inner thoughts or feelings of the people mentioned. Please feel free to comment if you agree or disagree.* 

I've been waiting to find a good stretch of quiet time to write this post. This summer has been full of so many great opportunities and experiences. I chose this verse for the title because of its emphasis on perseverance and hope. In verses 1-2 of Chapter 5 Paul speaks of how our faith has resulted in receiving a taste of God's grace. This taste of His grace is so abundant that even just the "hope of the glory of God" (what is to come) leads to exultation. 


Side note: The common/more modern definition of exult is "to show or feel a lively or triumphant joy; rejoice exceedingly; be highly elated or jubilant."  However, exult used to be used in a way meaning "to leap, especially for joy."  I don't know about you, but thinking about sharing in the life of God makes me want to leap for joy  :)      


Okay anyways, after this Paul goes on in verses 3-5 to recognize that we will face tribulations in this world. Yet, through perseverance we can increase our character and find hope. Then he ties it all together by saying hope does not disappoint because of the grandeur of what we have to hope for (the glory of God). Exult!  


 What does this have to do with my summer?  I had the privilege of meeting some truly incredible individuals who embody perseverance through trials. I worked at a summer program called REAL. The goal of the program was to introduce young adults with vision impairments to employment and independent living. I was a job coach, which involved teaching participants job skills and supervising them on the job. Most of the work I've done in rehabilitation has been in the mental health field. This was a very new and exciting experience for me.


Each job coach was assigned two participants to supervise throughout the program. From the first day, I knew it was going to be quite an adventure. My participants were awesome! We had our shaky moments and definitely did a lot of persevering during the five weeks. We were assigned to work at elections administration in Denton.  The office was full of so many wonderful people who were excited to have us there. But, the jobs the participants were assigned weren't the most exciting. Each afternoon, after a long day of folding cards to be mailed out, they returned to the dorm to hear their peers tell stories about working in retail, testing electronics, and designing a component to Second Life for those with vision impairments. Suffice it to say we did not have the most exciting job. But we made it through and even had some fun doing it.  Thank goodness for my participants, they kept me laughing throughout the day. 


Both of my participants amazed me with the things that they had experienced throughout their lives and how they handled them.  The first thing I learned from this program was why "person first" language is so important. These individuals are so much more than the vision impairments they have. They are people, teenagers to be exact, first. As we all do, they experience things far greater and more meaningful than their visual acuity. I enjoyed so much as my participants started to open up to me about their lives outside of the program. They were all so talented. My male participant was awesome with computers and had played and beaten just about every computer game out there. My female participant has the most beautiful voice! One day after work she sang for me and it was so hard to fight back the tears. There was also a participant who played every instrument I can think of. On graduation day I was down the hallway and heard one of my favorite praise and worship songs being sung; I dashed down and got there in time to record the last part of the song.  He also wrote a beautiful song which he played at the graduation.  Here's him playing the praise and worship song:

I absolutely loved working in this program. It makes me even more excited about finishing graduate school and getting to work with people just like these. 

I recognize this is getting long, but I have one more experience of perseverance and hope to share. For one of my class assignments we were asked to step out of our comfort zone and interact with a culture different from the one we grew up around. I chose the homeless community. One Saturday afternoon Jason and I drove to downtown Dallas. I have to be honest, when I first got there I begged Jason to let me turn around and find a different culture. I was very nervous. But he encouraged me to approach a man standing by himself digging around an ashtray. I went up to the man and asked him to join us at lunch.  Ronald was definitely a little startled. He was very quite for the first 30 minutes and visibly uncomfortable being in Subway. I learned a lot from Ronald; mostly about human dignity and the way we treat those who are homeless. As with those with vision impairments, those who are homeless are first and foremost people. After this experience I can see how someone who is homeless could start to feel less than that.

First, people chose to either look away from us or stare. There wasn't much of a middle ground. I definitely noticed this. I'm used to receiving simple smiles of acknowledgement from others in passing (and at A&M a "Howdy"). This absence was strange. I can see how day after day of this could make one feel as though they are "lesser" than those whizzing by. Even when someone did stop to give change, they did so without a word and usually didn't even stop or look at the person; more often than not, change was tossed in the general direction of the person sitting next to the wall. If there's anything I gained from this, it was to always look at those who are homeless in the eye and give them a smile, a wave. Even if I cannot provide change or a meal, the very least I can do is provide them a sense of dignity. 

Second, I wondered how often Ronald heard his name. Names are such a big deal for humans. No other species takes the time to name their peers. Eventually, your name becomes part of your identity. Girls often change their name in marriage as to be identified with their husband. But as a person who is homeless, especially one who hitchhiked as far and often as Ronald, hearing ones name could be a rarity. In some sense I can also see how this might start to ware on a person, making him or her feel separated from their identity. 

This experience truly had a profound affect on me. The homeless population is one I'm becoming passionate about.  Through it I was able to identify where outreach efforts, particularly those involving social work, might be going wrong. We must start to look at the world through the eyes of someone who is homeless. Perhaps the reason people choose not to go to soup kitchens or homeless shelters is out of feeling increasingly marginalized (look at the typical location of these, about as marginal as it comes). We must start to align our goals with theirs, build trust, and ultimately treat them with the dignity all humans deserve. 

How to get people to come early and stay late for Mass?

At St. Patrick's, entering the 5th grade did not only mean you were "top dog" on the first floor, it also meant you were now eligible to be an Altar Server (AS). For the Vrla kids this was a right of passage. Being the youngest child, I couldn't wait to be just like my sister and brother and stand on the Altar in a black robe and a white smock. Oh the glamours of Catholic School, it's the little things.  


I should have known Altar Serving and I weren't going to get along well when I missed the first day of classes. At this point I should have said, "you know I think I'll wait until next year when I can attend the full 3 days of instructions."  But no, I was a Vrla, my brother and sister had imparted their AS knowledge to me and I had studied their every move up on that Altar.  I was destined to be a pro.  However, what I failed to remember was that my brother was the AS who on his way to kneel on the steps had smacked head first into the candles flanking the sides of Altar, making a surprisingly loud sound of glass on his apparent head o steel. I heard about this incident for weeks from my classmates.  News travels fast in Catholic school.  As far as I know, this was Bryan's only big blunder as an AS.  Me on the other hand...well, I had enough to write a blog about them.  And now the top 5 reasons Mass was so entertaining when Rebecca was an AS:  


Disclaimer:  During the time I was an AS the Monsignor at St. Patrick was a very serious and all about business kind of guy. Altar Serving was not a joke and he would gladly let you know if you were doing anything incorrectly.  I may or may not have been a little terrified of him.  


1) Following Communion the Altar Servers and the Priest clean up all the chalices, wiping them down and putting the tops on.  We were told during classes that the patterns on the top and chalice would match, making it clear which goes with which (see below picture of how it should be). At my very first Mass as an AS I step up to the Altar ready to help Monsignor J (MJ) clean up. He wiped down a chalice and hands it to me.  It has no pattern, and the only difference between the tops are the crosses in the middle. 

Oh and they're each ever so slightly different in size.  Enough to where only one top will fit each chalice. I play musical tops for what feels like 10 minutes, clanking on incorrect top after incorrect top. Finally, MJ takes back the chalice and grabs the correct top as if it was the most obvious thing ever. From that time on after wiping down a chalice, he would slightly tap it against the correct top as he set it down.  You're welcome St. Patrick Altar Servers, I just made your job 10 times easier.  


2) One morning I stood on the Altar holding the book for none other than MJ.  MJ is very particular bout what angle and height you hold the book for him. All of a sudden my watch starts beeping.  My watch alarm is going off.  I had wondered why my alarm hadn't woke me up that morning, instead my sister had to come in my room to tell me to get my butt in gear.  Turns out I had set it for an hour late. My 12 year old self has a mini freak out.  Should I turn off the watch or hold the book at the correct angle?  I don't know!  I look up, MJ is glaring down at me in a way I hope to never see another human being do.  After a minute of awkward beeping my watch finally stops. He makes no mention of the incident to me after Mass, but I know I am permanently engraved in his head as the girl whose watch went off during church.  


3) The best part about being an AS is getting to light the candles.  Fire is fun, always. Not to mention we get to use the coolest contraption to light the candles. It looks something like this:

See that little knob on the lower left side of the lighter?  Yes, well these control the length of the wick. One day while lighting the candles before mass I somehow managed to push this knob up far more than necessary.  The flame was gigantic. I panicked and pulled the knob down, snuffing out the flame.  Whew...disaster avoided.  I went back to the sacristy proud of my quick action.  I was greeted by MJ at the door.

MJ: "Why is the wick all the way down?"

Me: "Oh I was just putting out a flame"

MJ: "If you pull it all the way down after a flame was on it the wick freezes in the lighter.  It's probably broken now."

I try to move the wick back up.  It is indeed stuck.  Fail. 

4) As with all jobs, sometimes there were "no shows" in the AS world. But no fear, there was always at least one or two Altar Servers in the congregation ready to step up to the plate and save the Mass. On this particular occasion, there wasn't just one no-show, there were three. A voice came over the PA system pleading for one brave soul to be an Altar Server for today's Mass. Having already seen MJ, I figured I would volunteer and maybe start to make him like me a little better. I walk back to the sacristy ready to get a "thank you" and a pat on the back.  Luckily I had brought a hair band and was able to tie my hair back; strands of hair and fire do not mix well.  Once again MJ is there to greet me at the door:

MJ: "You're going to be our Altar Server."

Me: "Yup, I sure am, I even pulled my hair back.
MJ: "Those earrings are huge. They make you look like a gypsy"

C'mon man!  I was just trying to be a good Catholic and volunteer to be back up AS.  I never wore those hoop earrings again.  

5) After Mass, I went up to put out the candles.  All the seasoned and "Cool" AS put out the candles by snuffing one out with the bell side of the contraption pictured above and blowing the others out.  Well, I was seasoned and cool...or I wanted to be.  I reached up to snuff out candle one and leaned over to blow out candle two.  In one of my most intelligent moves to date I blow straight down at the candle.  The melted hot wax surrounding the candle shoots straight up hitting me directly in the face.  It instantly dries and I officially look like "two-face" from batman.  First reaction "OOUCH"  Second reaction "I need to get off this Altar ASAP I look ridiculous"  I put my head down and blow out (from a safe distance) the other 4 candles as quickly as possible then run back to the safety of the sacristy.  Luckily, MJ was not there to greet me at the door.  I can only imagine how that conversation would have gone. 

So, how do you get people to come early and stay late for Mass?  Answer, have Rebecca be an AS, she's sure to do something entertaining. 

Hebrews 12:1

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith." 

What a packed verse; and how relevant it is to where I am in my life right now. As is best practice, to fully understand this verse it's best to look at the preceding and proceeding verses.  In Chapter 11 of Hebrews Paul describes the great faith of Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Rahab, and others of the Old Testament. So, when he talks of "so great a cloud of witnesses" he speaks of these. We are lifted up and inspired by all those who have gone before us.  And today we look to the Church, Militant and Triumphant, to surround us.  

Hebrews 12:2 says, "For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God."  If you know me you know how I love the word "joy." Not happiness or content, but joy. Being happy or content relies on the situation. Happiness fluctuates with each passing emotion and every new sensation.  Contentment conveys settling without a sense of completeness.  But joy comes from within.  Complete joy rises out of love.  Though Jesus knew of the suffering he would endure on the cross, nothing could overshadow the joy felt in His love for us.

So what does all this mean in light of Hebrews 12:1?  I'm no Biblical scholar, but for me the verse is saying through the help of the Mystical Body of Christ we can persevere in this race towards the Kingdom of God. We can, through faith and the help of others, begin to break through the chains of our personal sins which slow us down. If ever it feels too difficult or tiresome we can look to the example of Christ himself who endured crucifixion for our sake, and in Him find our joy.  

What is the purpose of this blog and why did I choose this title...mostly, what is the purpose of this blog? To question #1, I'm not sure.  Blogs are a strange thing.  I'm not in a foreign country and I am lucky enough to live close to most of my family and some of my friends and get to see them on a regular basis. So most people don't really need to read about the ins and outs of my life.  They already hear them and in many cases experience them with me.  Although, I readily admit that I am possibly the absolute worst at answering the phone or picking it up to call friends I don't live close to anymore.  So maybe this blog is for them.  I've been going through a "gah I miss A&M and all the people there" stage lately.  This might just be an attempt to feel as though I'm getting to have a conversation with them; albeit a very one sided conversation.  But honestly, I think this is more of a therapeutic blog than anything.  Graduate school (and planning a wedding) is tough and has done a fair job at taking over my life.  I've not handled this in the healthiest way my first two semesters. This blog is my accountability partner; I tell it what I've done to take care of myself spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And if you happen to read it, you also can participate in keeping me accountable. 

Here's where the verse comes in:  You all are my cloud of witnesses surrounding me!  I could not have made it where I am today without the support and prayers of my family and friends. I also know that it will be your continued support which carries me through the rest of graduate school, preparing for marriage, married life, and in our future family life.  So join me in my race and my commitment to racing with poise, endurance, and eyes always on Christ. 

  

My life is no more interesting than anyone else's, and in many ways it is probably far less exciting.  But if you're interested in keeping up with and being a part of this journey here's what to expect: It will not be updated on a consistent basis.  It will not always be this long. Maybe on occasion it will be longer. Sometimes it will be anecdotal. Sometimes about a verse, quote, or action which struck me.  I will try to keep it positive and motivating (no one wants to read about a Debby Downer, that's what diaries and journals are for). Other times it will be obvious that I'm trying to avoid studying.  Pretty much this blog is a random collection of thoughts and moments. 


I am filled with so much joy about this next part of my life!  Graduate school, while tough, is great.  I'm learning so much and am encouraged by the passion of my classmates and professors for this field. I'm getting married!  Planning a wedding, also stressful at times, is a fun experience like no other.  More importantly, I'm marrying a man who amazes me each and every day and I can't wait to call him husband...hubby...husbo...hubster?  I'll work on that.  

I plan on keeping this blog going after the wedding, as that day will only be the beginning of my and Jason's race together as a married couple. Still, planning goals for the rest of my life is just unreasonable. Therefore, here are my goals for the next 7 months...to be precise, until January 7th: 

1) Maintain an active and vibrant prayer life and become involved in the Church where Jason and I are getting married.

2) Run.  As much and as far as I can.  Originally the plan was to run a half marathon on our honeymoon in Hawaii but for some reason people don't think I'll have the energy to do that...

Maybe I'll do the Dallas half in December instead. 

3) Keep up with school.  Procrastinate less.

4) Become more domesticated.  I know, a lot feminists just gasped and a few may have rolled over in their graves.  But am I wrong to love the idea of being a strong woman who is able to keep up with work and maintain a lovely home (apartment, whatever) as well as cook delicious and healthy meals for her family?  Ok I don't expect this to happen over night, but I've got 7 months   :)    

"I pray that whatever God's will is, I'll be able to accept it with grace, and have faith in His wisdom. We're always in God's hands. Sometimes it's hard to accept that, so I pray that He'll help me just to trust in His will." ~Ronald Reagan