How old?: 2 Months!
Weight/Height: Our little guy is quite the chunker. He weighs 13.3 lbs and is 23.5 inches long, putting him in the 79th and 82nd percentile respectively. At his 2 month appointment Dr. F said he could pass as 4 month old.
Baby clothes: Zilla is usually wearing size 3 months but can squeeze into some 0-3 month outfits depending on the brand. He also wore a 6 month outfit on Easter. It was a little big on him, but c'mon, he's only 2 months old; he should have been swimming in it. He is also wearing size 2 diapers. Thank goodness for Babies R Us' return policy on diapers so that we can exchange unopened packages of all the ones he grew out of so fast
Milestones: Zilla had his first non sponge bath this month, which means he officially enjoys bath time! Being able to sit in the water definitely seems to calm him...until we have to wash his hair. He is really starting to get the hang of tummy time and can hold his head up pretty well by himself, especially while being held. He's also making more cooing noises which are super cute.
It seems I have a very serious baby on my hands, as we don't get too many smiles out of him just yet. Hopefully that will start to happen more soon. Every now and then he'll reach towards objects and/or grasp objects, but I haven't decided if this is just by accident or purposeful.
Special outings: Zilla took his first road trip this month for one of my best friend's bachelorette party! On the way there we stopped in Temple so he could meet his great grandparents. This worked out great as feeding him was much more comfortable in their house than it was sitting in the car in a Luby's parking lot (that happened on the way home).
He really did great that day and I was so proud of him for sticking it out and staying in a pleasant mood. Also, it made my heart so happy to see my best friends all together sitting around holding my baby.
Zilla also had his first holiday this past month; Easter! To make it even better, Nina came into town to celebrate with us.
Highlights of the month:
Getting out of the house as much as possible. Now that the weather is nicer, little man and I have gone on more walks. It's so great to get a little fresh air every now and then.
I got to have a girls lunch with some of my UNT friends this month too! It was so nice to get to catch up with them.
Seeing his little smiles. While they don't happen often, when they do happen my heart absolutely sings.
While Zilla spent part of the time with us at the bachelorette party, his daddy was nice enough to come with us and watch him so that I could go out with my girls for dinner. I love these ladies so much and had a great time with them!
Baby's routine: Still working on this one. Ideally, during the daytime he would wake up, we would feed, followed by 30 minutes - 1 hour of playtime (until he starts acting tired), and then I would wrap him up and put him down for a 2-3 hour nap. Rinse and repeat. At night we we would cut out the playtime.
But that's ideally. While sometimes we achieve this the alternative tends to look something like this: Wake up, decide to snack a little and then get really upset or fall asleep while trying to eat, stay upset and cry and then get hungry again because someone refused to eat, hold and bounce him for an hour trying to convince him he wants to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Ultimately, during the day if he sleeps for two hours consecutively it's a huge victory. At night we alternate between awesome nights where he'll sleep for 4-5 hours consecutively and nights where he refuses to sleep more than 30 minutes consecutively.
We go back and forth between putting him in his bassinet by our bed and co-sleeping with him. During the day I try to put him in his bassinet for his naps but usually hold him or put him in a carrier because he is happier there and tends to sleep a little longer. At night we co-sleep in order to increase our chances of getting some rest ourselves, or at least we get to lay down.
Baby's favorite food: breast milk.
Baby's favorite activity: Eating and watching the ceiling fan
Baby's favorite toy: He enjoys laying on his play mat after feedings when he's in a good mood. He also likes looking at and listening to an elephant toy that makes crinkly noises when you touch it.
Big changes: Breastfeeding is becoming more and more comfortable. The soreness is completely gone and as long as he's in a good mood, we have very successful and effortless feedings. However, when it's not a good day his hands and I get into some pretty epic battles.
Even though he's not real big on looking/smiling at me or responding to my talking just yet, I am able to interact with him more now. He's really become so alert and interested in his surroundings so we'll walk around the house and outside so he can take in lots of new information.
A change on my end is that I have been cleared to resume exercise. I like to take advantage of this any opportunity I get. I've gone on a few runs with my bro-in-law. Ran a 9:43 min/mile 5K a couple of weeks ago. Far from my PR, but definitely progress in returning to the mix of things after pregnancy. I also resumed doing some insanity workouts. Gahhhh it's so hard to get back into those. I cheat a lot. Pretty much the warm up is the only part I make it through without cheating or stopping for extra breaks. I also do lots of squats and some sit up type moves using Zilla as my resistance weight throughout the day.
Well y'all, I've really been struggling this month. I wish I could say month two was exponentially better than month one in so far as my emotions and little man's colic. However, if anything it's improved the smallest amount or it's about the same. Many times it has felt worse. I've definitely had some rough days this month and have really had to rely on my friends and family who are so willing to help out. I can't tell you how many times I've text my mom or my sister asking them if they can come over for awhile with no notice at all, and they're there no questions asked. And of course there's my aunt who routinely comes over every Thursday and my friend who visits us every Friday who both help me get through the end of the week. And that's hard for me to admit. I still wish this was all coming more naturally to me, or that Zilla and I had more good days where we just enjoyed each other's company. But I remain hopeful. In addition to the physical help I've received, I've also had some amazing prayer warriors. One of my friends who lives out of state sent me the most beautiful and encouraging email after I shared with her some of my struggles. She reminded me that I went from being very involved in volunteering and spending time at my internship site and school, surrounded by people, to being, for the most part, cooped up at home with a little baby who hasn't quite mastered the art of conversation. And that is a major change for someone to go through in such a short amount of time. She also wrote out a beautiful prayer for Jason and I. I read it whenever I'm feeling a little down.
Jason continues to be a huge support for me as we figure this out together. I know he wishes he could be here more to help. He even took a sick day from work one day after I developed a fever and was feeling really under the weather. It was such a nice day. Despite being sick, Jason and I got the chance to lay in bed together for a little bit and snuggle and play some games on our phones together. It was really nice.
I keep reading colic forums where other mom's assure me that this time passes and their little ones started to develop vibrant personalities that are just a joy to be around by three or four months. On the other hand, there are those moms whose babies continue to have colic for 12 months...those aren't so encouraging. One mom's words really struck me: "All I want to do is enjoy my child and love it like all of the other parents. I hate you colic, you took my precious baby away." I've had very similar emotions to this. There have been so many times I want to just fast forward to the end of this period, skip over the next month or two. But then I feel so guilty having those thoughts. Shouldn't I be holding onto each of these precious moments when Zilla is still small? I'm terrified I'll look back one day and kick myself for not embracing each screaming fit as an opportunity to hold my son while I still can. It's a roller coaster of emotions for sure. I try to take lots of pictures during the happy times so that during the not so good times I can look back at them and laugh and remember that there are indeed good times.
Sorry this mommy journal is a bit of a downer, but again, I'm making an effort to be honest. I recently read an article about the facade facebook and instagram and twitter can create of these perfect little lives we try to show we have, stirring up feelings of insecurity in others. This is me admitting that while my instagram is filled with delightful pictures of our precious little son, we are by no means perfect. But we are persevering!