Thursday, October 29, 2015

Panini's Birth Story

So the last time we spoke we were here:
But let me back up just a little bit, since labor was already well in progress.

*Friendly cautionary statement*  This is where I lose all filters and just lay it out as it went.  So if you are uncomfortable with words like mucus, discharge, or blood, this may not be the post for you.  I promise there will be continued Vrlyfry Day posts you can read and see all the precious pics of our new addition.  Okay, you have been warned.

So remember how I was 1 cm dilated at my appointment on Thursday and I was all kinds of bummed about it?  Well, Thursday night to Friday morning I woke up multiple times to use the restroom.  This wasn't out of the ordinary, but what was out of the ordinary was the difficulty I was having not peeing on myself.  I ended up changing my underwear a couple of times and by morning I was noticing streaks of bloody discharge.  Since I had just been checked the previous day, I thought it could just be due to my sensitive nether parts being agitated.  But, since I still seemed to be having bladder control issues, I decided to wear a pad to work and brought a towel just in case.  

When I got to work I messaged my sister about all the weird  happenings to get her opinion.  She recommended I call the doc just to be sure I shouldn't come in.  So I called and left a message.  I went home for lunch around 11:30 and once again had to change my underwear.  I really thought it was strange, but it was such an inconsistent "trickle" and only seemed to happen when I was changing positions so I figured it was just baby pushing on my bladder.  The nurse called back and after describing everything to her, she pretty much just said...well, it sounds like it's just urine, but it could also be your water, or just urine.  Okay good luck figuring all that out.  Ugh.  I threw my hospital bag in the car before leaving from lunch, just in case.

Around about 12:30 I started to feel little contractions, and not braxton hicks type contractions, but real ones.  They were coming about 10 minutes apart and were very consistent.  I let a twinge of excitement shoot through me.  Could this be it?  Surely not.  I showed no signs of progress yesterday.  By about 2:30 the contractions tapered off and eventually stopped.  Excitement gone, it's not happening today.

I told a few of my coworkers what had been going on and they were sure they would not be seeing me next week.  I didn't want to get my hopes too far up, as I had come to peace with waiting until my due date or after.

Besides, we had a busy night ahead and I needed to figure out how I was going to coordinate everything I needed to get done.  First thing was to get Zilla from school and then we needed to stop by a CVS to get a birthday card and print some pictures for my grandpa's birthday.  Then we were going to head to Addison for dinner with the family.

About half way to the CVS, the contractions started again, and this time they seemed a little stronger.  Since I was driving I wasn't really able to time them on my phone so I tried to just keep my mind on the tasks at hand.  Our CVS trip turned into a mini meltdown session because mean mommy was not going to let Zilla have the lollipop he wanted.  We got lots of stares, but gosh darn it, I was going to stand my ground on this one.  No. Lollipop.  Gosh these contractions sure do seem to be coming closer together.  A couple of people commented on me being so pregnant and asked when I was due.  And for the first time ever, when I answered "any minute" I wasn't kidding.

But no time for labor when there's a dinner to get to.  So we stayed the course.  But by this point things really were seeming like I might be in labor.  Just to be safe I called my mom, who would be staying with Zilla when we went to the hospital.  Next, I texted Hubskie to let him know we might be making a trip to the hospital tonight.  Finally, I called my brother to ask him to take Zilla home for us, should we need to dine and dash.  Things were in place, just in case. 

When we got to the restaurant, the talk quickly turned to "oh you look like you could have this baby any second" to which I replied "yes, you are right" and they all laughed and then I said "no really, I think I'm having contractions, we may be leaving dinner early."  This put everyone a little on the edge of their seats, all eyes on me.  When Hubskie arrived he was in denial that I was in labor.  Hmmm this sure does sound familiar.  He told me to start timing contractions and what do you know they were about 4 minutes apart and 30 seconds long.  He continued in his denial.

After eating the appetizer, I told Hubskie I did not think that we were going to get to eat our entree and we needed to start thinking about leaving.  To which he replied "Seriously?  I just really wanted to eat my shrimp and grits."  To which my face replied .....

So, he asked the waiter to get our things to go, as it seemed his wife was in labor.  The waiter got a kick out of this and quickly rushed off to get our food together for us.  We let the family know that we were going to be leaving and then the hardest part of the night happened.  Harder than any point in labor, because this one involved my little heart.  

We told Zilla it was time for mommy and daddy to go to the hospital because Panini was coming.  He immediately started crying.  I know it was only because he didn't want mommy and daddy to leave in general, but it just felt like I was abandoning him.  Leaving him to go change his life forever, and he had no say in the matter.  There were tears and mommy had a hard time leaving him.  I knew all along this would be difficult and I had really hoped I would go into labor in the middle of the night so that the goodbye wouldn't be so difficult.  But then again, maybe this was best since he was with his Uncle B, whom he loves so much, and we had the chance to say goodbye and tell him what was going on.  We snapped our picture and went on our way.

Just like last time, the contractions seemed worse in the car, but Hubskie was a pro at navigating the rainy Dallas streets and got us to the hospital in no time. This was it.  By this point, I was sure of it.  

Our registration experience was much better this time around.  The woman at the front desk was so kind and also speedy.  She didn't stop to have a personal life conversation with the nurse and did a great job keeping me cheery while completing all of the paperwork. 

We went back with the charge nurse and she asked me to get into my gown.  
But first I had to take my final pregnancy pic!  Also, look at my poor sausage feet getting squeezed into my shoes.  

Time to be checked: 3-4 cm! Water had broke!  No turning back now.  I heard the nurses start to discuss the on call doctor and I started to panic a little.  I was going to need Dr B to deliver this baby.  Thankfully, after pulling up my chart, I heard them mention a note about contacting him for delivery.  Another nurse commented that he delivers for most of his patients no matter the day or time.  My doc=amazing!  I was instantly relieved.

The nurse hooked me up to the monitors and we let them know we would like to go through labor without medication oh and by the way our last labor was fast.  We waited in triage for a bit and during this time I took it upon myself to change up my positioning as the back lying position was not doing it for me.  In the course of doing this I seemed to jostle my monitors loose and the charge nurse came back in and asked me to stay lying back as long as possible and then sit up if necessary because the hospital will wonder why they weren't responding to the loss of fetal heartbeat.  Which I understood, but at the same time, my focus was on helping this labor progress and lying back was working against me rather than for me. So I sat up and was careful to keep the monitors in place. 

During this time Hubskie also learned how to read the contraction monitor and started reading out the numbers to me.  I know he was trying to be helpful but I asked him not to tell me what the numbers were on the screen because I didn't really want to know.  I didn't have a problem with him looking at them, just didn't want to know myself.  I was focusing on listening to my body, rather than hyping myself up as the numbers climbed.

Soon, we were moved back to the labor and delivery room and we met our nurse, Kristi.  I told Hubskie to go ahead and get his dinner from the car, since I didn't know how long we would be and I was still feeling relatively good, so now would be a good time to take advantage of that and have himself a nice meal.  I wasn't feeling hungry, so it really didn't bother me to have him eating and I wanted him to feel nourished for the excitement that was ahead of us.

Kristi was a great nurse.  In our last visit to L&D they told me I did not have the option to have a hep lock and made me stay lying on my back the whole time.  I wasn't thrilled with this and was a little more adament about me wishes this time around.  But she was happy to comply.  They got the hep lock in and she provided me with a birthing ball.  She said that since I was probably wanting to be able to move around she would only monitor the heartbeat and my contractions once an hour for 15 minutes.  This sounded like a good compromise to me.  She asked me to let her know when I started to feel more pressure down low so that she could check me again.  She wanted to be able to call Dr. B to come in when I was about 7 cm.  Then she left Hubskie and I to ourselves.

Hubskie was really a rock star during this L&D and I was so glad to have the alone time with him.  He helped support me on the birthing ball during contractions and when he noticed my shoulders tensing during contractions he gently tapped them to remind me to allow my body to work rather than fight the pain.  He put on Matt Maher for me to listen to and occasionally we wold sing a little Raffi to remind us of our other sweet son waiting for us at home.  My primary focus was to remain as calm as possible during contractions.  This meant visualizing my body working to get Panini out, focusing on my breathing, and staying as quiet as possible.  I was conscious that when I needed to make a noise, it was a deep groan rather than sharp or shrill noises, as I had read that the low groans are better for progressing and not fighting your body.  And when I needed Hubskie to just talk to help get my mind off of the pain, he came through and kept his one sided conversation going.  It was actually just really nice to sit and talk with him.  Our life has been so busy these past few weeks and it felt like I had barely seen him this month, so just getting to hear about his day was relaxing.

Around 9:50 the nurse came in to do the monitoring.  She waited for me to get through a contraction and then had me lay back so that she could strap me up.  I had told Hubskie that I thought I was feeling some pressure, but also felt silly because it really hadn't been long since she first told me to wait to be checked.  During one of my contractions Hubskie said something like "Ok, that was just a small contraction, you did great."  Which in general sounds really encouraging, except that the contraction actually hurt quite a bit, so to hear that according to the screen it was a small one, was a little disheartening.  I explained this to Hubskie and no more mention about the screen was made.

Towards the end of monitoring I let the nurse know that I did think I was starting to feel some pressure.  She said since I was checked recently, she would wait to check me at my next monitoring, which would be 10:45.  I was a little skeptical but didn't want to make a fuss so I obliged.  After she left, things really seemed to ramp up.  I no longer felt stable enough to sit on the ball, so instead I got on all fours and Hubskie helped gather all the pillows so I could rest my head on them while my booty was in the air.  Definitely a great labor position and I barely had to use any muscles.  I told Hubskie I wasn't going to make it much longer as the urge to push was already starting to be present.  But I also told him I was worried to bring the nurse in to check me and only be 4-5 cm.  That would just be hard to hear.  He encouraged me to make it through 6 more contractions and then he would go get the nurse.  At one point I specifically remember saying "Gosh these contractions are really starting to suck."  But in my head I'm pretty sure I was screaming and cursing.  On contraction number 5 I told him he needed to go get her now because this baby was coming soon.  He rushed out the door and they were back in a jiffy.

I told the nurse that contractions were getting stronger and closer and there was a lot of pressure.  She looked a little skeptical but had my lay back to get checked.  I could see the shock on her face.  "You're 8 cm, time to get your doctor up here."  We told these people I progress fast, and we weren't kidding.  

Thankfully, Dr. B must have remembered my history of fast delivery, as he was already in the lobby waiting to be called in.  When he came in the room I immediately let him know that it would be soon.  I said something along the lines of "I am going to need to start pushing soon."  Everyone kind of nodded in jest.   I said it again and the nurse came to check me again.  Sure enough I was 10 cm and 100% effaced.  It was go time.  They helped me get my legs up and had the bed's incline raised up. 

 As soon as my second leg came up I let them know I was going to start pushing.  There was literally no way I was going to be able to go through my next contraction without pushing.  Dr. B was still getting his scrubs/gloves/and booties on.  I remember seeing his face look something like this :-O when I pushed, as Panini's head was already there.  And I knew it too.  I had a very distinct flashback to the terrible burning sensation that occurred when Zilla's head started to crown.   Hubskie said pretty much all of the nurses were looking on in disbelief and trying to get everything ready in time.

Dr. B, still standing up, told me I needed to stop pushing on the next contraction or else there was a good chance there would be a bad tear.  My least favorite words to hear.  Stop pushing.  But I knew it was necessary and I really did not want to tear, as even the small tear I had with Zilla was quite a painful recovery.  So I dug into my reading and recalled a blog post about this specific moment of labor.  The woman writing recommended "blowing a candle out."  While the ideal breathing is usually deep to help manage the pain, for some reason, a short breath out helps in not pushing.  So I got to blowing the candles out.  Hubskie told me he thought I was going to have a seizure.  Nope, just busy blowing out the candles, don't worry about me.  Next contraction Dr. B, told me to give just a little push.  As it turns out, a little push is harder than no push at all.  But little push I did (thank you Kegels),  And then nothing.  No direction.  No one was talking.  So I yelled, "What do you want me to do?!  Can I push?!"  Just a small push. Okay, another small push.  Another push.  And he was out!  Out before I even had a chance to realize how close he was to coming out. And then he was immediately handed to me.  Panini is here!!! 
First picture!

The new policy as Presby is skin to skin for one hour before any kind of measurements are taken.  So for an hour Hubskie, Panini, and I all just soaked each other in.  There is no feeling like holding the little baby who has been in your tummy for 9 months.  The little bitsy whom I worried about on the daily, whom I prayed for constantly, whom I yearned to meet and know.  Here he was.  Pure perfection.  There is truly nothing like it.

Dr. B congratulated us.  I apologized for yelling.  He laughed and said he doesn't think anyone has ever yelled at him "What do you want me to do?" but then commended me on my control in pushing.  The nurses said they don't think they have ever had such a quiet natural birther.  I thanked Panini for being so small, and my body for being so quick.

Unfortunately, both mine  and Hubskie's phones ran out of batteries so thee aren't many pics of his first hour of life.  But he was still just as cute the next day. 

Once we got to the room, I was sure to snap dada's first picture with Panini
Nina got to be the first to meet him the next morning.  She had driven from Houston in the horrible down pour, got detoured through Waco, and made it around 4:45am.  She stopped in for a bit to meet her new grandson. The best part is that Panini ended up being born on Nina's birthday!  Hubskie was pretty much out, but I was pumping with all kinds of adrenaline and energy so I wasn't sleeping much.  Panini, on the other hand, was sleeping great like his daddy.

Hey, this is me not sleeping.
Nina made it!  Happy birthday, Nina!
Everything went smooth during our stay.  I was a little worried at first because he wasn't waking up to eat.  But on night two he woke up and only wanted to eat.  Which also worried me because I thought we were going to have another colicky baby.  *Spoiler alert: he's not!  He's a great eater and a great sleeper.  And mommy could not be happier.*  

This bottom picture is Zilla when he was born.  Now both our boys have a "Fry Boy" picture.  I just think it's so cute! 

Once again, our room was flooded with love and we had lots of awesome visitors!


My favorite visitor was, of course, having Zilla come meet his brother.  But I will recount this in greater detail on the next pic a day post.

One additional note.  I have to say, I am so grateful for our daytime nurse.  She made a point to address postpartum depression with me.  She had no knowledge of my history, but was sure to talk about different medications that wouldn't affect breastfeeding and the importance of self care.  She gave tips on how to recognize PPD and what to do should I start to notice symptoms.  It was amazing to know that other moms are probably getting this same information from her.  It's so important.  Particularly because she is one of the first people interacting with the new moms.  I was just really impressed.  Way to go, nurse Michelle at Presby Dallas.  You rock! 

That's all for now, more to come in the next Vrlyfry-day update!

The Vrlyfries

Vrlyfry-day and the Final In Utero Panini Update

Day 288: 10/15
It was one of those nights where daddy had class and mommy was worn out from being pregnant all day.  So Zilla and I decided to have a date night at Shady's burgers. 

And of course we couldn't leave without ice cream from Sweet Firefly!  

 Day 289: 10/16
Hubskie and Wifeskie's turn to have a day date!  We went to the fair as a final hurrah before the new one gets here!  I felt bad not taking Zilla, but it was nice to just spend time with hubskie.

 Day 290: 10/17
Saturdays are for parks.  This is Zilla's new favorite way to swing.

Day 291: 10/18
Zilla's getting ready for Panini's arrival!  Also, look at that awesome sign in the background.  My college bestie made it for Panini :) 

 Day 292: 10/19
This week was the ABC Kids Expo.  AKA my favorite time of year.  It's when all the baby industry manufacturers get together and show off their newest products.  This was a couple of my favorites.  Finally, someone has made adorable moccasins for usually only see girly ones.  Jogging stroller, meet biking stroller.

Day 293: 10/20
The kiddos were pretending that they were flying.  I positively LOVE Roodle's face here.  So much joy!

 Say 294: 10/21
After getting dressed for swim, Zilla gave me the biggest, sweetest hug and I couldn't resist taking a picture.  I love this kid so much!

 Day 294: 10/22
AHHHHHHhhhh!  My best friends (bridesmaids) got together and gifted me a Lily Jade diaper bag!!  I have been obsessing over these since the last ABC Kids Expo.  They are just so pretty and functions and can be worn as a backpack!  This is a must when chasing a toddler with a newborn.

It rained that afternoon.  I was worried about that evening since daddy had class and mommy wasn't looking to fight Zilla about not being able to play in the rain. So I made the executive decision to just go out an play in the rain. He had a blast!

That night dada got home a little early and put Zilla to bed.  He accidentally fell asleep too, and it was too sweet not to capture. 

Day 295: 10/23 y'all know what this is?  It's the last picture of us as a family of 3 (well three outside the womb)...Vrlyfry Day pics to continue after I upload the birth story and all that jazz.

 Panini Update
So this is going to be funny to write since Panini has made his arrival, but here's a little update between our last visit and his birth.  

So last we spoke my blood pressure was a little high and I was having to pee in a jug.  As luck would have it, I did indeed end up filling up the jug before my test was over and had to re-do the whole thing.  This time they gave me two jugs.  I know you are excited to learn this.  In the end, my protein levels were just fine!  And my blood pressure stayed the same or a little lower, so I was in the clear.

I was becoming increasingly antsy about delivering this baby.  Mostly because I was having a very difficult time staying checked in at work and I didn't want my consumer's to suffer because of it.  Thursday I was finally going to be checked for progress at Dr. B's.  I was just certain that I was at least 4 cm dilated.  On Wednesday I had constant braxton hicks, which must mean all those dates I was eating and uterus water I was drinking was doing something.  

The moment of truth...drum roll please...1 cm dilated and a posterior cervix.  WHAT?!  Dr. B asked if I could remember if I was progressed at this point with Zilla.  As a matter of fact, Dr. B, I documented every second of my last pregnancy and I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  He was pretty surprised to hear this and said something along the lines of this being opposite of what he would expect between a first and second pregnancy.  I think he could see the disappointment on my face and was quick to reassure me that things could still happen at any moment and maybe he would be seeing me before my next scheduled appointment.  He also told me to not let my lack of progression full me, as he still expected my actual labor to go quickly considering how fast Zilla came.  He reminded me to not wait too long before getting to the hospital once I felt real contractions. 

That's about it.  coming very soon, the birth story!!!!  

The Vrlyfries

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Vrlyfry Day and 38 week Panini update!

Day 264: 9/21
My athletic little man having another great night at the park!  We will miss the sun staying up so late! 

Day 267: 9/24
I am slowly becoming a master of the grill with hubskie being at school two nights a week this semester.  After cooking these, Zilla and I were invited to a playdate at Chick fil A with Aunt Berly and Roodle, so we didn't even end up eating these that night.

Day 268: 9/25
I don't really remember why I took this picture.  Maybe because I realized I hadn't taken one that day and needed to.  Well, apparently we went to the neighbor's house that night :) 

Day 269: 9/26
Zilla was absolutely adament about going to church on Saturday.  So we went to church and said some hello's to St. Mark.  Also we walked in on a wedding, which was just a little bit awkward.

Day 270: 9/27
We are finally owners of a video monitor!  This is me testing out taking pictures on the monitor of our mischievous little guy.  

I just think this picture is so funny.  He's totally got his judgey face going on here. 

Day 272: 9/29
Zilla likes to wave bye bye as we go down the driveway in the morning.  I tear up a little bit everytime.  I can't tell if it's "I love you so much" tears or "I don't want to say bye bye" tears or a combination of both.

Day 273: 9/30
I won't be surprised if one day I have shoulder problems, but it's totally worth it to hold his hand while he still wants me to. 

Day 275: 10/2
Zilla was having a great time playing with his uncle J Wag!

Kids and their dads 

Day 276: 10/3
Nap time with all of my boys!  It only took Zilla an hour.5 to finally fall asleep.

That night we celebrated hubskie's cousin (one of my favorite Aggies) and his wife's new baby on the way.  They are due just a week before Panini! 

I have 2 of these videos.  He was having so much fun providing the evening entertainment.  And I was having a blast watching him.  I think his dance is my favorite part.

Day 277: 10/4
My bestie uploaded pictures from her wedding and I just had to steal this one.  I love these women so much and am blessed to be their friend!

Day 279: 10/6
 Girls Night!  Thank goodness for wonderful dads who take on 5 kids so the moms can have some girl time! 

Day 280: 10/7
Supination is one of our top goals before Zilla is aged out of the ECI program, and one of the few ways we can get him to practice it is with his guitar.  He'll say "look momma, my hand is under like daddy" when he's holding it right.  Love this kid! 

Day 281: 10/8 
Zilla got to see Panini for the first time.  He definitely did not understand what was going on on the screen but I still thought it was a sweet moment :) 

That evening we went to Ms. Ellie and Mr. Robert's house for dinner.  I just love this picture of my bestie and my son feeding the ducks together!  He asks to go back to see them often.

 Day 282: 10/9
Sadly, there was a knocked over flag at the park, but when Zilla was trying to pic it up, I did think it made for a pretty nice photo op.

Day 283: 10/10
One of my longest friends is moving to Colorado soon.  I am so happy for her, but pretty sad for our family.  She was a rock for us during Zilla's first few months.  

He hadn't seen her in quite a while, but it took no time before they were back to being best friends!

Day 284: 10/11
We returned to the pumpkin patch for our annual photo shoot with these two!  They are seriously the cutest cousins ever!

 Day 286: 10/13
 I'm trying to squeeze in as many special moments with this little guy before he is no longer an only child.  On Tuesday we went to the park and had a picnic while playing.

Day 287: 10/14

Y'all this kid loves music and playing his guitar!  He has also discovered if he starts to do ridiculously cute things right at bedtime, he can stall for 30 extra minutes.

 Panini Update!
Our little guy finally gave us a shot of his face!  I've been having fairly frequent sonograms because I am measuring small.  Each time Panini has been facing away from the camera and the tech will just snap a picture of his boy parts again and print it off.  I'm just like...wellll I don't really need any more pics of that, but thanks.  But at week 37, this little guy gave his momma a little peek at how handsome he is!  I definitely tear up when I look at this, he looks perfect :) 

We have made it to 38 weeks!  No real progress to speak of.  I am having braxton hicks but that is about it.  If I am reading my blogs from Zilla's pregnancy correctly, I expect Dr. B to check me for any dilation/effacement next week.  I am really really hoping for there to be some progress.  

Okay, I may really really be hoping that we won't even make it to next week before his arrival.  Not because I don't appreciate this amazing time I am getting to spend with him, because I really do, but I think I am a little bit tired of having the same conversation over and over again with strangers.  That sounds ungrateful.  Maybe it is.   I should probably be more grateful.  I am going to make a real effort to be more grateful for these conversations starting today.  Good talk, blog. But I am so ready to meet this little guy and hold him in my arms and let his brother and daddy meet him too! Also, I've pretty much checked out from work, which is not good.  I need to check back in until he is here, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to do.

Symptoms wise, I am still itching but I think it is a little bit less.  Or I am just getting used to it.  The second liver function test came back negative too, so I think I am in the clear for that one!  At my appointment on Wednesday my blood pressure was a little high, so I am getting to do a super fun 24 hour urine collection test. I am in the middle of doing that today.  They gave me a 3000 unit jug and at 5:00 I have already used up almost 2500 units of space...soooo apparently I pee too much. Sorry for the TMI, but I'm genuinely concerned I am not going to have enough room to make it to 7:00am tomorrow morning.  I might have to start using ziplock bags or something!

Hubskie and I are going to the fair tomorrow!  I will have to monitor my blood pressure while we are there, but I am excited about the trip nonetheless. It will be the first day off we've had together in awhile and we're just going to take the time to enjoy being husband and wife.  I think it's important to do this before we add to the chaos!

The nursery is mostly complete.  Dressers are anchored to both kids' walls, clothes have been sorted and stored away, we have wall art courtesy of my bestie pictured above, and I got a large print of one of our maternity pictures to put in the room as well.  Pictures will be uploaded once it's all hanging. 

My bag is mostly packed for the hospital, I feel like I'm under-packing, but I figure if there's anything I forgot someone can pick it up for me.  As long as we have a camera for pictures, we're set!    I also picked out Panini's come home outfit.  It's cute little sailboat overalls to match his nursery theme.

Zilla is getting ready for Panini as well.  Sometimes he will tell me things like "When Panini grows up, I can teach him to play guitar too?"  Heart melt.  Oh and he is just infatuated with babies.  It is literally the sweetest thing ever.  Except for when it's with a stranger at the park and their baby trying to nurse, yeah, that happened.  But for the most part, he just loves gazing at babies and touching their back.  I love it.

 We've made it to the final countdown and with my track record of letting weeks go by without an update, the next one just might have a baby in it!

The Vrlyfries